Sunday, February 1, 2009

What is the secret to a succesful long distance relationship?

Distance relationships like traditional relationships are built and sustained on trust. When you enter a LDR, you have to do it in good faith because that’s all you will have to keep you sane when your lover is so far away. If you start on the wrong track, it will only lead to self-doubt, suspicion and your romance will be sabotaged before you even know it. Keep in mind that feelings are your only comfort when your object of desire is miles away from your arms. Lacking physical proximity with your loved one can be devastating to your attitude towards your relationship. That’s why you need to invest in trust, honesty and communication from the beginning. This is the only way you will be able to be comforted in your choice and to enter in a long distance romance.

Don’t neglect communication
There isn’t a worst feeling than hanging over the phone waiting for your sweetheart to call you or send you a SMS. It’s the curse of having a long distance relationship. Be very careful. The balance is very delicate. If you start being careless about communicating with your sweetie, returning phone calls or e-mails, you will create the right environment for trust to fly out the window and doubt move in. Try to maintain some kind of routine with your phone calls and online activity.

Set down some ground rules
Be clear on the terms on which you will function as a couple in your LDR. How often are you going to talk on the phone or how often are you going to visit each other? You need to mutually clarify your expectations so that nobody gets disappointed. Knowing where you stand in your long distance romance makes you have trust in each other and feel that you are in this together one hundred percent.

Express your feelings
Physical distance can make you and you sweetheart become experts in communicating your feelings solely through words. So make sure you practice. Most couples in LDRs find it easier to communicate their sentiments, fears and thoughts to their partner on the phone or through e-mail than if they were face to face. So go ahead. Let your sweetheart know how much he/she means to you, express your love in romantic ways and take the time to make gestures that reassure him/her about the future of your long distance dating. Everybody feels more secure and trusting in their partners when they are shown how much they are appreciated and adored.

Don’t make assumptions
As we said before, going into a LDR in good faith and with good intentions is crucial to its chances for success. If you’ve been disappointed and heartbroken by a previous relationship, try to leave the past behind and don’t take it out on your new relationship. For example, don’t assume that because somebody cheated on you in the past, it is going to happen again in your new long distance romance. Every person is different and we all deserve a clean start without having to deal with the emotional baggage created by our partner’s previous relationships. Assume that everybody is trustworthy until proven otherwise or your suspicions will push your relationship off the edge.


Being on the same page, communicating and knowing what to expect will be the keys to building trust in your long distance relationship. As long as you are both honest and good willing, you will have no problems feeling secure and optimistic about the future of your love story.

Source: How to build trust in a long distance relationship?

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